Grateful

I will be for this day, and everyday

God and Politics...

The months leading up to a presidential election are worse than a full moon.

 It makes people crazy.

It turns normal, nice people into raving, lunatic assholes.

 

I've seen it everyday on Facebook for the past week, someone writes a status about their views on the candidates or debates or whatever and one of their "friends" chimes in

and rips them a new asshole because they are of the opposite party.

We are talking name calling, hair pulling, dirty talk.

Not to mention trying to make the original poster look like a moron

for believing they way they do.

To be honest, I am not up to date on either party.

I don't pay attention to politics.

I am not a republican and I am not a democrat.

I watch debates and make my decision on who I will vote for based on those debates.

I know some of you think that makes me a wretched American, but guess what?

I don't really care what you think.

I don't condemn you for being a politically crazed wacko,

don't condemn me for being politically relaxed.

I don't understand why people get so worked up about stuff like this.

I will never understand why ADULTS cant live and let live.

 

I have learned there are two things that I don't typically discuss with other people.

God and Politics.

I know nothing about either one, but

mostly because I don't really believe in either one.

You really should.

Country boy shake it for me...

I have dated a lot of boys.

I have dated a lot of guys.

 

I have dated one man.

 

When I was in high school, I was boy crazy.

I was not a slut. I never even had sex in high school.

Mostly because it seemed like every boy I liked, never liked me.

The ones that did like me, I had no interest in.

The thrill of the chase, I suppose.

.

When I graduated from high school, I thought forsure I was a grown up

and I would soon have a boyfriend.

Wrong.

I think I was more boy crazy at 19 than I was in high school.

Except now I had a "type"...

If you didnt play hockey, you didnt stand a chance.

The butt of a hockey player is undeniable.

The smell of a hockey player is desirable.

I was hooked. (pun intended)

I was checked,

slashed,

and crushed into the boards by a few of those fools.

Still, I never gave it up.

I came close, but it never happened.

Thank goodness.

 

I did eventually, but not to a hockey player.

I met a guy, moved in with him and thought I was in love.

I know now, it was certainly not love.

 

Then I met someone. I was 20, he was 28.

Boy, oh, boy was he cool!!!

I was in the bar phase of my life, and this guy ruled the roost at my local hangout.

He was a friend of a friend, and quickly became my friend.

I was a smitten kitten, but he had a girl friend, and I was 20 years old.

Why would a 28 year old want to date a kid like me?

We hung out as friends for awhile, we both knew there was something there, and his girlfriend knew it to because she hated me. Some things you just can't help though.

He eventually broke up with her and took a chance on this 20 year old girl.

 

Long story short, I married the guy.

I wasted 8 good years of my life as a stepford girlfriend and wife.

I can't lie, I did love him.

He made me fall in love with him,

and he loved me to.

Although, now I believe he fell in love with the person that he turned me into,

not with the person that I was.

On my wedding night, things happened,

and I knew right then that I had made a mistake.

I tried to make it work, but I also gave up.

I didn't like person I was with.

I got lost,

I didn't even like myself.

After 8 years, I left him.

 

To this day, I don't regret it, and I don't wish I'd done anything different.

I left, and I never looked back.

Thats how I know I made the right choice.

 

 

 

And then, there is Mitch.

Ooooohhhh, Mitch.

This is the man I was put on this earth to love.

This is the man put on this earth to drive me absolutely insane.

 

Mitch is unlike anyone I have ever met, take that how you want.

You really have to know him to understand anything I say about him.

 

As much as I want to punch him in the balls sometimes, I owe him so much.

Most importantly, he gave me the one thing I've always wanted,

he gave me Marshall.

I will forever be grateful for Mitch, for that reason.

But, he also gave me myself.

He allowed me to be who I was, and he fell in love with who I was.

He showed me how to have fun again, and he brought me back to my roots.

The Lindsey that I lost in that 8 year hole in my life, came back.

I have experienced more in 5 years with him than I have in my whole life.

That's saying a lot, because for the most part, I've had a pretty darn good life.

us in Alaska!

 

I dont know what the future holds for us, I cant imagine my life without him in it anymore.

I know that he is my life time love,

I've never loved anyone the way that I love him,

and I never will.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whats all the bzzzzzz about?

for months I've been hearing about what a superfood Bee Pollen is, so I decided to give it a shot...

Bee pollen contains all of the essential vitamins, minerals and proteins needed to "sustain life",

I'm not sure about all that, but I'm all about a natural, organic "vitamin".

 

"Honeybee pollen is the richest source of vitamins in nature found in a single food"

 

 

 

It also contains more amino acids than beef, eggs and dairy!

I take a spoonful/day with a glass of water.

I first mixed it with water, but I found it hard to get all the granules out of the glass, so now I just take a scoop and shovel it in my mouth, and chase it with the water.

It doesn't taste horrible, so it's pretty easy to take.

Now I just hope I'm not allergic

MJ 5

my life

7 months later...

I'm proud to say that I have a healthy, very happy, crazy baby boy.

This kid is the light of my life, every time he smiles at me I fall more in love with him.

my best friend

 

The last 7 months have flown by, I now know what people mean when they say "don't blink"!

Marshall is now an exceptional crawler, except sometimes his arms don't move quite as fast as his legs and he face plants, but he gets right back up

and proceeds to get into everything and anything he can reach.

He's a great eater, he likes eggs, applesauce, leaves and magazines.

 

He pulls himself up on anything he can reach, stable or not.

This also means he falls a lot, thank goodness he got his dads toughness.

I don't think it will be too much longer before he decides he's ready to walk!

 

 

My life is nothing like it was a year ago... everything I do is for Marshall now.

 

I've adopted a healthy lifestyle.

My eating habits have changed, my exercise habits have changed (or should I say emerged?) and the people who I choose to allow into our lives are all positive, healthy, good people.

I've let go of a few people who don't add to my happiness or the happiness of my son.

 

Yesterday I even went back to work!!

I am not at all excited about being away from Marshall, but I also want him to have a good life,

and I know that means he needs to be able to rely on other people sometimes.

Luckily, Mitch is understanding and supportive so I only have to work a couple days a week.

I am SO thankful for that. I can't imagine not being able to raise my own child.

I have absolutely nothing in life to complain about, other than the weather ;)

What a difference a year can make...

Wow.

Just over a year ago, the contents of my blog were us deciding if we were going to have a baby!!

 

What a difference a year can make!

 

Chances are, you already know that on March 9, 2012 at 12:19am

a 6lb 11oz healthy little boy was removed from MY body via c-section.

This little boy was the missing piece to my puzzle,

the hole in my heart that I could never explain is gone,

and Marshall Everly Johnson V is here.

 

My water broke March 6 while I was in bed sleeping, thank goodness it was just a trickle and not the typical, embarrassing "gush" we often hear stories about. I didn't have to buy a new mattress or anything! Mitch drove me to the hospital about 1am, on our way we passed Huron High School and the marquee in front of the school said 3-6-12, we both saw it and instantly thought

"what a cool birthday"......

HA! I should be so lucky.

 

When we arrived at the hospital, I was checked out to make sure my water was really broken and to check my cervix. Since I was not dilated and wasn't having contractions (that I could feel) I was allowed to go home and was to return later that night.

On the way home I called my mom, who lives about 3 hours away.

She jumped right in her car and made it to my house in record time,

little did we know there was no reason for her to rush!

I waited and waited all day to start feeling like I was going to have a baby,

it never happened, and neither did sleep.

Who the heck could sleep knowing you are about to bring a human life into this world

and will be responsible for that life for the next 18 years?

 

Not this girl.

 

After a full day of absolutely no excitement going on "down there",

I packed my bag and headed back to the hospital.

I was checked in at about 10pm, March 6.

As of 10pm, March 7, I was dilated only to 2cm, and still no hard contractions, so I was started on pitocin. Pitocin is used to stimulate labor. However, I'm convicted pitocin is a drug created by satan to make you sorry you were ever born. I was in SO much pain that the next day is all a blur. I can't even tell you what my nurse looked like because it hurt to open my eyes.

 

BRING ON THE EPIDURAL!!!!!!

 

March 8- dilated to about 6cm, epidural is wearing off so

I'm given a long island iced tea of drugs, that I have no recollection of because again,

the pain is so unbearable it's hard to even breathe. 

March 9- whatever drugs they are giving me for pain are obviously being cancelled out by satans pitocin, I'm dilated to about 8cm, THANK THE LORD, my pitocin drip is removed!!!! Around 8pm, I'm fully dilated and my midwife thinks its time to start pushing.

I push, and push, and push some more.

And then..... I push more.

Someone isn't ready to come out, decides to cock his head sideways in the birth canal and apparently probably won't fit through my narrow hips (he took care of the narrowness to!) anyway.

REALLY? We couldn't have decided this 2 f-in days ago???

Im starting to get a fever, Marshall is starting to freak out (his heart rate is elevated),

so FINALLY my midwife thinks he needs to come out via c-section.

Is that ok with me??

 

Are you kidding? Get this boy out of me already!

 

So, I'm taken to OR, given ANOTHER epidural and heard my baby cry at 12:19am. I then proceed to take a nap. I knew as soon as I heard him cry that he was ok, and to be frank,

I was fucking exhausted.

Mitch stood by me and watched the whole surgery, and went to Marshall as soon as he was out.

I was amazed by this.

 

After the nurses cleaned him off and checked his vitals they let Mitch bring me my baby.

Talk about love at first sight.

 

I said "hi baby", (this is what I always said to him when he was in my belly) and my boy turned his head and looked right at me. I knew in this exact moment that my life would never be the same. I knew that I was no longer living for myself, that I was living for this baby.

He is my life now.

our first family photo

 

Because his heart rate was elevated and I had a fever, they wanted to keep an eye on him for a few hours. I was taken back to my room and could finally sleep!!!!

They brought Marshall to me somewhere around 5am, after 9 months of waiting, and 3 days of the worst pain I'd ever experienced, I held my baby.

My life is complete.

I will never forget the way he smelled, the way his mouth moved or the way he looked at me.

I put him inside my hospital gown and went back to sleep,

 it was probably the best sleep

I've ever had.

daddy's hands

 

As happy as I was with my new baby, my pain in the ass hospital stay wasn't ending yet. Apparently, after a c-section they dont let you leave the hospital until you fart. No kidding.

I also got an infection on my skin near my incision, so they had to keep me an extra 2 days.

On March 12, I was finally able to go home with my new little family ❤

my new favorite quote